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Ruth's Truths:
​A Blog about Job Search

Take Your Career to the Next Level

Your Last Job was traumatic. Now what?

9/24/2019

 
You found your dream job.

For a while, it was wonderful.

Then a new boss took the helm.

A bully boss.

At first, you didn’t believe it could be true. But as time wore on, you realized that the way this person spoke to you, the judgment you received, and the demands on your time were beyond reason.
You tried to figure it out. You scheduled meetings with your boss. You asked for clearer direction.

Things got worse.

It wasn’t easy, but you quit.

Now, you’re looking for something new, a fresh start, a place to contribute your talents. The sky is bluer and the outlook sunny.

Or so you’re told.

But you still feel awful.

Everyone tells you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get your resumes out! Only, you feel completely discouraged and even though you smile and look busy, deep down, you feel that no one will hire you; that they will see what your boss saw and laugh at you.

What you’re feeling is normal. It’s the sort of PTSD that those of us who have lived through workplace bullying experience after leaving a toxic situation – and it’s real. Here’s some advice from the Workplace Bullying Institute that might help you recover:
​
  • Take care of your health: See your doctor and get evaluated. Get some exercise. It’s important to have a healthier perspective when looking for new work. You don’t want to set yourself up for a repeat situation!
  • Choose your references wisely: Bullying supervisors can sometimes continue their campaigns of harassment through the things they say about you. Choose only people you trust – maybe a colleague or a client/customer.
  • Forewarned is forearmed: Check to see what your former employer might be saying about you. Pay a third-party company to check your references. This will help you decide whether to use them as a reference, and to be aware of anything that might surface.
  • Ask questions: When you are interviewing for a job, inquire about why the position is open and how long it has been vacant. Before accepting a job, find out if they have a policy regarding respectful workplaces. If they don’t know what you mean, that tells you something about them.
  • At your next job, stay healthy! Set boundaries and be careful. Don’t be aloof but be mindful about sharing too much of your personal life with colleagues. This sort of information gives bullies power.

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